Where are you, Dimples?

Dimpled G - That's what I've named him.

On the second day of our processional practice, I was looking for him. Why isn't he joining the practice? Why isn't he around? Why is there no signs of him around? Is he absent or what? Those were my questions for not seeing him inside the hall since every Junior and Senior was there. I was really desperate to see him.

But no signs of him so I kept my self focused on our practice. I can't smile. I wasn't in the good mood. I don't know why but it's like he was the reason. My friends noticed how I was reacting and asked me what's wrong. I said I was just tired and the heat is bugging me. They suggested me to take a rest first but I refused to.

Nobody noticed he wasn't around except for Rosemarie. "Hoy! Kaya ka ganyan kasi wala siya no? Ayie. Ikaw ha!, she teased me. "Shhhh! Shh! Ang ingay nito. May makarinig sayo. Hindi naman eh. Mainit lang talaga.", I denied but I had to admit it, it surely was the reason behind my bad mood. And to my surprise, a classmate of mine heard it. At first she wasn't sure of who we were referring to but then he noticed who the missing officer was. She came up to me and said, "Crush mo si Kuya Gemson, Shay? Uyyy. Gusto mo ng number niya?". "Hala? Ako ba may crush? Siya may crush sakin no.", I joked because I couldn't find ways to deny. "Oo nga. Crush ka. Nahalata na namin yun, kahapon pa. Tingin sila ng tingin sayo eh.", she said. I just smiled and ask her not to tell anybody else.

Lunch came, still no signs of Gemson on our school. I went home to have lunch with Rose and we were talking about him the whole time. "Baka mamayang hapon andun na yun. Baka tinamad lang magpractice.", she said. "Sana nga so he can make my day. Nababagot na ko sa practice. Ang init. Buti kung may magandang view.", I said and we both laughed. We surfed the net together and watched several tv programs since we have shorten periods.

After an hour and a half, we went back to school and attended our Chemistry and Values classes. The moment our classes ended, I went near the window to gasp some air since it was really hot. I was with my classmate who just knew about Gemson and me during our practice in the morning. We were busy listening to music as we were waiting for the practice when she interrupted and said, "Rosch, tingin ka sa right! Now na!". I was like why but I immediately looked. And there I saw him, with a classmate. I can hardly prevent my self from smiling, but then again, I  smiled a little. But inside, I was like, "YEHEY! Gaganahan na ko magpractice.". My classmate offered me to change places for the candle lighting practice since she was nearer to Gemson. I can't accept it yet I can't refuse. I just smiled back.

Practice resumed. I was already in a good mood not minding the heat and smiling all the way. Good vibes! Candle lighting ceremonies came, my friend immediately signaled over me to change places with her, so I did. Gemson was again surprised to see me behind him. I wouldn't want to be so obvious so I prevent my self from smiling and pretended to be paying attention to our song.

It was great. Super asaran na naman after ng practice. Kahit nakakapagod, masaya. At least I got to see him. Hehe.

How "our" story began.

February 8, 2011:

The first practice of the Juniors and Seniors for our processional for the Promenade. It was just an ordinary day for me. Boring and hot as it was and surely, very tiring. Not until my friend, Rosemarie, noticed him(Gemson) and his classmate(Ate Jennilyn) smiling at each other while they secretly gazed on me as they(Senior officers) were lined up in front of us as they were the one leading the candle lighting practice. I really didn't get the chance to caught them on act, but from what my friends say, I hardly believed it at first. I was like, "Why the hell will they look at me secretly?". But it made me curious out of the blue. I thought my friends were just playing a joke on me.

Breaks have pass, and I was still thinking about what Rosemarie said. To tell the truth, I can't even focus. I was like daydreaming or what. I never thought he'll notice me, that's what's in my mind. I am not his type. I am not an attraction. But it made me conscious of what and how I look.

Practice resumed, I forgot about the thing because I was focused on my crush that time, our Mr. Senior. I was busy looking on how he and our Senior Sweetheart, also his real-life girlfriend, dance along the hall. My friend teased me that maybe jealousy is tearing my heart apart, but I said it's no big deal. Then they reminded me again of what they saw awhile ago. "Okay lang yan Shay. Smile. You never know, someone might be feeling the same way on you like what Marco is feeling for Cindy.", one of them said. I just smiled, then secretly looked at Gemson. He was smiling. I was amazed by his dimples. He's cute, I thought.

I was 4 or 6 persons away from behind Gemson. All of the students on the hall were preparing to sing One Little Candle and paying attention to our practice except for Rosemarie. She was secretly looking at Gemson and Ate Jen as they were whispering or like having a secret conversation while smiling. She accidentally heard Gemson said, "Ako dapat dun eh. Sayang." He was referring to another officer who was exactly in front of me. Rosemarie came up to me and related what she just heard and I was like, "Sure ka? Baka hindi ako yung nirerefer niya. Baka si Venus or Christina(friends beside me)." "No. Sure ako! Ikaw. Kanina ka pa tinitignan ni Ate Jen eh. Ngumingiti nga. Why not try na punta ka dun sa likod nila? Dali.", she said. "How will I? Eh andun sila Michelle. Hindi makikipagpalit yung mga yun. Law abider yun eh.", I said. "Tatakas sila. Narinig ko. Pagod na daw e. Pag alis nila, gora ka na. Ako bahala.", she insisted. "Well. Then, okay. Pero wag kayong mangaasar okay?", I confirmed. "Oo. Basta!", she ended and went back to her place.

As soon as my other classmates sneaked out to have a break, my friends pushed me until I was already behind Gemson. I was not really making him noticed until Ate Jen saw me and gave him a signal. My friends were like, "Sabi sayo eh.". I can't really admit this but I felt butterflies in my stomach when Gemson looked back and smiled when he saw me. He was shy, I thought. I was blushing the whole time! And Oh! His dimples! How I love them!

Recessional came. He can hardly look at me but he was really wearing a smile all the way. I don't know but... his cuteness made me wanna sank in where I stand. My friends started teasing me, AGAIN. I told them to keep quiet and not to tell anyone about what they know. They've promised not to.

As we were preparing to go home, I was still bothered or maybe curious. Could he be really crushing on me? But why? Why me? Those are my silly thoughts that time. But I have to admit it, kinikilig ako. Yes, for the first time since I was only a transferee and I'm not really into finding a new love on my new school since I was still coping up from my past break up. And I think he was the first one in this year that made me forget about how my ex did me wrong.

After spending quality time with my friends, I bid them goodbye earlier than I usually do. All the time we were hanging out, I can't help thinking about Gemson and what happened on our practice. I need to figure things out and know more about him, those are my reasons for leaving my friends playing DotA. 

I reached our home. I was excited to check my account on Facebook, and to post a status about what happened on our practice. I don't want to sound too obvious so I posted a simple statement saying: "Ang kyut talaga nung nasa harap ko kaninang candle lighting practice!". To my surprise, alot of my classmates and my schoolmates posted several questions on it asking if who am I referring to. "Sana hindi nila nakita, Lord please! Pano na ko bukas? Asaran na to. NOOO!". They took several guesses but none of them made the right guess. Yehey! I also went to check if he was already my friend. So I typed his name, but to my surprise, he was not on my list. I was thinking if I'm going to add him as a friend or not. At first I was like, "Maybe I'll just wait for him to add me. Ayokong isipin nya na nagpapacute ako." But on my second thought, "Iadd ko na lang. Hindi naman siguro ako napansin nito kanina. O kaya baka di nya alam name ko." So I made up my mind and added him up. After a few minutes, "Melchor Gemson Boniog accepted your friend request" - a notification saying he had already approved my request. My heart was pumping like it have never done before. I immediately went off and called Rosemarie.

Rosemarie: Oh? Napatawag ka Mrs. Boniog? *laughs*
Me: Che! Wala. Magkikwento lang. Inadd ko siya sa facebook.
Rosemarie: Uyyy! Crush mo na din no? Nagchat na kayo? Kinuha na number mo?
Me: Oemgee. Ang OE mo! Ang bilis naman. Hindi naman ganun yun no. It's like we just saw each other for the first time, tapos kukunin na agad number ko? Okay ka lang? Tsaka baka may girlfriend yung tao.
Rosemarie: So crush mo na nga? Eh ano kung may girlfriend?
Me: It's a crush. But please, don't make me push through more. Ayokong ma-fall. Don't make me fall. At tsaka, ang naughty mo! Kung may girlfriend yun, NVM na lang. No thanks.
Rosemarie: Blabla. Andami mong alam girl. If you're meant to fall in love with each other, kahit hindi namin kayo ireto or whatever, eventually you'll fall.
Me: You know the pain I've been through. Pero thanks. Ikaw ang nakadiscover ng una kong kilig since dumating ako dito.
Rosemarie: Weh? So di ka kinilig kay EJ nun?
Me: Hindi. Trip lang naman siya. Rebound, you know. I have to go na. Bukas na lang ulit. Punta pa ko sa dress shop. Magfifit ng gown.
Rosemarie: Okay. You have my support kahit anong mangyari. I love you.
Me: I love you too. Good night.

That's what happened on the first day I got to know Gemson. And it gave me chills until I fell asleep that night. 

Love's First Kiss.

HAHAHA! Ayun. OMiGawd.
Kinikilig ako. Babushibam nomon!
Kung kelan hindi na kami mas lalo kaming naging sweet. =))

Ang kulit kasi nya. Gusto nya mabasa laman ng blogspot ko.
Eh ayaw ko. Kasi nga OA mga laman.
Tapos edi yun. Pilit sya ng pilit hanggang sa naasar ako.
Di ko na sya pinapansin, tapos yun. Sorry sya ng sorry =]]

Nung hinatid ko sya sa labas, around 11 na yun. Niyakap nya ko.
Super higpit ayaw bumitaw hanggang di nya naririnig sakin na hindi na ko galit.
Eh dahil OA ako, pinatagal ko. HAHA. Bat ba.
Tapos ayun. Kiniss nya ko, 2 times sa lips. FIRST TIMEEE!
Haha.

K. Ako na kinikilig. Babye

We don't need to be together in order to be happy.

Eh. Wala. Sinasabi ko lang.

Bawal? HAHAHA.

Dami nanaman maaasar nyan =P

HAHAHA!

...at sa lahat ng nagbreak, kaming dalawa ang pinakamasaya.
HAHAHA=)) Kamusta naman yown!

Ang daming naglike ng changed relationship status ko sa FB.

Ang dami talagang natutuwang wala na kami.

HAHAHA! Sige, kayo na! :P
Lubus lubusin nyo na ang pagsasaya nyo dahil pansamantala lang yan.=]]
Pag pinalitan ulit namin yan, "married to" na ang nakalagay.

KBye.

Kayo na nung isang ex mo ang sweet.

"Edi kayo na! Eh ano ngayon?" (sabay naluha)



-Yan na lang ang nasabi ko nung makakita ak ng pictures nila na magkatabi nung ex nya.
So? Hindi naman ako nagseselos!

...pinipilit kong hindi magselos;(

Me on deciding where I want to be and where I should be.

I’ve heard and read a lot of bashing and hatred statements for me regarding our break up. I just wonder why people kept on commenting and talking about us since they really don’t know what’s the whole story. Why do you kept on judging me? Damn. I didn’t want this to happen.

I really can’t explain what I felt yesterday when we both declared everything’s over between us. Nasasaktan ako kasi mahal ko siya, naiinis ako kasi wala ng kasiguraduhan ang mga susunod na mangyayari pero naiintindihan ko kung bakit kailangan pansamantala naming tapusin kung ano man meron kami. Ako na rin naman ang nag-decide.

It’s really hard to choose between where you want to be and where you should be. I want to be with him, every second. I want him to only be mine. I want him and I together. But the right thing to do for now is to end our relationship. Hindi namin ginusto. Maybe it’s because of the influence of the people around us. And yes, most people won’t approve our relationship because of religion practices and beliefs and a lot more reasons.

On my side, some of my friends say that they don’t like us to be together. They want someone else for me. Someone who is better for me. How could that be? If Gemson is the best for me? Another thing is our church rule, that we can’t enter a relationship until we finished being a YP at the age of 23. That is according to our ministry leaders for us to serve Christ well and to focus on serving him and for us to prioritize our studies more than anything else. I was like asked to choose between serving Christ or him. That was the hardest.

Meanwhile on his side, his father is a Pastor. And one of the things that his father preaches is that,  no one who is not on the right age shall enter a relationship unless he is already financial stabled and should be with someone on the same religion. Another reason that made me not to fight for him is the idea that he is disrespecting his father because he is being disobedient to their ministry rules. Say for example, he was asked to choose over his father’s dignity and me. He is having a hard time deciding yet I made him chose his father’s side. He was also asked to temporarily end our relationship and eventually get back with me when the right time comes, he refused to but I made him do so. How will their members follow what his father preaches if he as his own son doesn’t even follow his words?-This was their point of view.

I won’t say more, but that’s the real reason why we split up. Although it hurts, we can’t do anything. I was thinking of fighting for him, but I couldn’t find strength and encouragement to do so. Why? Maybe because they’re making him choose between his family or me. I was made to choose between friends, our ministry and him. He surely wanted to fight for me but then again, I refused being fight for. I can’t take the fact that he has learned to disobey his parents for me. And the idea of me causing too much problems, pain and influence to him just won’t sank into me. He was such a fool for me like they said for he had broken so many rules for me. I was one, too. I learned to forget about my friends when they told me that they wanted someone else for me. 

I respect our ministry. I respect theirs too. I respect each sides’ beliefs that’s why I’ve let go. I don’t wanna be the reason for him to be distant away from their ministry and his family and I don’t want him to be the reason for me disrespecting our church rules.. 

To my baby.. I know how much you love me and I won’t question that. But for now, let’s sacrifice. God has a purpose why all of these things happened. Let’s take it positive. Trust HIM. I hope you know how much I love you. I love you enough to do this for your own good. Be happy. If we’re really meant to be, we’ll eventually end up together. For this time, we just have to remember: TRUE LOVE IS WORTH WAITING FOR.